Why different women treat children differently.

Name 6

Whydifferentwomentreatchildrendifferently.

Therelationshipbetween womenandchildrenis significantbecauseitinfluencesthegrowthanddevelopmentof kids.However,there aredifferent circumstancesthatdeterminethewarmthof therelationshipbetween thetwo parties.In mostcases,thewoman’sperceptionabout kids,which may in turnbeinfluencedby circumstancesthat resultedin their birth,is thekeydeterminant of howa womantreatsthem. Forexample,a childbornout of wedlockandunder pressurefrom a loverorthesocietymay not receivethesametreatmentfrom thewomana kidwhois bornin an establishedmarriageandby a willingwoman.Thispaperwill providea discussionof factorsthat explainwhydifferentwomentreatchildrendifferently.

Thebiologicalconnectionbetween a womananda childdeterminesthewaythatwomanwill treatthekid.In mostcases,thelackof bloodrelationshipbetween thewomanandthechildresultsin anegativeattachmentbetweenthechildandthewoman.Thiscan beconfirmedby thelimitedsenseof carethatsuch a womandemonstratestowards thekid.In thearticle,“Long Tom Lookout” Carlson statesthatLauren hadnointentionof becomingthemotherof thefive-year oldboy.Itis evidentthatLauren is actingout of out of compassion,butsheis not willingto demonstratethemotherlyloveto theboy,evenduring their journeyfrom Texas. Thisis becausestepmothers oftenfeelcompelledto winthekidsover. Moreover,tryingto actlovingandmaternalto step-kids may be perceivedas a betrayaltochildren,which putsthestepmother in a conflictingsituation.

Theconductandthehealthstatusof thekidsdeterminetherelationshipbetween them andwomenwhoassumethepositionsof stepmothers. Althoughbeingsickandadoptingself-destructive behaviormay not be thewishof thekid,a step-mother is morelikelyto developan aversiontowards such a kidthan a biologicalmother.Theboy,in thearticle“Long Tom Lookout” is describedas havingcommunicationdifficult,self-destructive behavior,andobsessionwith maps(1). Thesehealthconditionsof theboycould be themajorfactorsthat promptedLauren to refusetheideaof becomingtheboy’smother.Carlson states,“In Kansas, whenLauren priedtheroadatlasfrom theboy’shands,hebangedhis headagainst thepassengerwindow”(1). From thisstatement,itis evidentthatLauren wasfedup with theboy’sobsessionwith maps.Theboy,on theotherhand,feltthathewasbeingmistreatedby thestep-mother.

Therelationshipbetween thefatherof thekidas wellas thefactorssurroundingthebirthof thechildcandeterminethewaya womantreatshim. In thecaseof a sourrelationshipbetween thewomanandthefarthercoupledwith factorsthat demonstratethebetrayalof thewoman,thewomanmight developa disliketowards thekid.Forexample,a kidbornout of wedlockorextramarital affairsis likelyto finditdifficultgainingtheacceptanceandwinningtheloveof thestepmother. Thiswasthecasewith thefive-year-oldboywhobelongedto a womanwhostayedwith Lauren’s husbandwhenhewasnot workingin theoilskimmer (Carlson 1). Thefactthattheboybelongedto anotherwomanwith whomLauren’s husbandcheatedon her with could haveresultedin thetransferof thebitternessto theinnocentkid.Moreover,theissueof placementof thekidto her stepmother wassurroundedby themisconduct(includingthedealing with illegaldrugs)of theboy`smother,which culminatedin her incarceration(Carlson 1).Thisdemonstratesthattheboy’smotherwasan irresponsibleperson.Therefore,therelationshipbetween a woman,thebiologicalfatheras wellas themotherof thekidcan affectthewaythat thewomantreatsthekidin a significantway.

Somewomengivebirthto childrenout of desperatesituations,andthismay affecttheytreattheir kidsevenbefore birth.At timesawomancan decideto getherself pregnantout of pressurefrom thesociety,familymembers,ortheir lover.In such a case,thewomanmight thepregnancyincontinenceto her profession,which might as welldeterminethewayshetreatstheunbornchild.Thiswasthecasewith Ariel Levy, whowasa writerwith a passiontotravelto variouspartsof theworld(Levy 1). AlthoughLevy understandsthattoomuchof airflightandtheweatherconditionsin Mongolia might not be favorableforher pregnancy,sheis stilldeterminedto travel.Levystates,“I wasn’ttrulyscaredof anything buttheMongolian winter”(1). ThismeansthatLevy wasawareof thedangersshewassubjectingtheunbornchildto, butshecould not allowthechildinterferewith her profession.

Thebiologicalconnectionbetween thewomanandthechildresultsin unconditionalloveandsecureattachmentbetween thekidandthewoman.Thephysiological connectionbetween a womanandthechildstartsduring gestation,a periodin which thewomanmeanseverything thefetusin theprocessof development.During thisperiod,thefetusexpectsthewomanto supplyfood,warmth,andrelies on thewoman’sheartbeatfora smoothanda constantrhythm.Thisbiologicalconnectionstrengthenstheir relationshipevenafter birth.AlthoughLevy Ariel Levy waspressuredby her loverandthefactthather advancedagewasleadingher to menopause, shedemonstratesher additionallove.Levytreatsher stillbirth fetuswith thelovethatanormalchildwould expectfrom thebiologicalother.Levystates,“Itriedto thinkof something maternalI could doto conveyto him thatI was,in fact,his mother,andthatI hadthesituationcompletelyunder control”(1).Levy,whois thebiologicalmotherof thestillbirth, treatsthestillbirth with lovein spitethefactthatsheunderstandsthatthechildcannot survive.

Theexpectedfateof thechildcan forcethewomanto feelmercyandtreatthekidfairly,not necessarilyout of love,butout of compassion.Levy(1), in thearticle“Thanksgivingin Mongolia” wasinformedby Cox’s doctorthatthekidwould not livesince itwasbornwithin thefirstnineteen weeksof pregnancy.WhentheMongolian EM.T healthcareproviders tryto pickthestillbirth from Levy, Levy states,“shetriedto takethebabyfrom me,andIhadtheurge to biteher hand”.By doingthis,Levy is tryingto protectthebiologicalkidfrom a thirdpartylike anymotherwould do.Sheunderstoodthatthatwould be thelasttimeshewasholdingthedyingkidin her hands.Therefore,anunderstandingthatthekidwill not survivecan forcethewomanto treatitin a specialway.

Beingpre-occupiedandoverwhelmedwith academicandprofessionaltaskscan increasethedistancebetween a womanandchildren,especiallythekidswhoexpectthewomanto takeare of them. Thiswasthecasewith Linda Logan, a womanwhogavebirthto five childrenwithin a periodof five years,whilestillpursuinga Ph.D. (Logan 1). Logan’s busyscheduleslefther with littletimeto treatchildrenandshowthem themotherlylovethat theydesired.In her article,Logan pointsout, “I wasjustoverwhelmed,my familywould say.Ishould getmorehelpwith thekids,putoff myPh. D” (1). Thismeansthatchildrencan realizewhena womanispreoccupiedandhavenotimeto treatkidsthewaytheywouldexpect.

Conclusion

Differentwomentreatchildrenin differentways,andthetypeof treatmentisinfluencedby a myriad of circumstancesandsituations.Factorsthat influencethewaya womantreatschildrencould resultorbe associatedwith thewoman,children,ora thirdparty,includingthefatherof thekid.Someof thekeyfactorsconsideredin thethispaperincludethelackof biologicalconnection,conductas wellas thehealthconditionof children,thewoman’srelationshipwith thefatherof thekid,situationsthat ledto childbearing, biologicalconnection,expectedfateof akid,andthehealthas wellas professionalconditionsof thewoman.

Workscited

Carlson,Karen. “Long Tom Lookout”. CoolSite for Writers and Readers.1 November 2014. &lthttps://sloopie72.wordpress.com/2014/11/01/bass-2014-nicole-cullen-long-tom-lookout-from-idaho-review-vol-xiii/&gt11 February 2015.

Levy,Ariel. “Thanks giving in Mongolia”. TheNew Yorker.18 November 2013. &lthttp://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/thanksgiving-in-mongolia&gt11 February 2015.

Logan,Linda. “The problem with how to treat bipolar disorder”. TheNew York Times.26 April 2013. &lthttp://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/magazine/the-problem-with-how-we-treat-bipolar-disorder.html?pagewanted=all&amp_r=1&amp&gt11 February 2015.

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